It’s so strange that my brother is not here anymore.
My thoughts seem to be scattered and random and mixed in with finishing up the pickles that got started a week ago and the green beans need to be picked and what in the world are we going to have for supper?! And add to that mix readjusting to life with kiddos who have been out of their normal for a week and wait, WHAT?!!! Chores?!??!!! They are shocked.
However, I can’t say that I blame them entirely. I would rather not do mine either. Somehow I would much rather read a book or sleep off the jet lag or do anything but face the things that do, after all, need to be done.
Life doesn’t stop. My brother’s did, but ours hasn’t.
There are lots and lots of people to love and bless. Some of those people happen to be the ones I live with. But there’s others, too.
Loss is a strange phenomenon. It has surprised me with its intensity and reminded me of what’s important. I somehow cherish my brothers like I never have before, now that one of them is gone. It’s crazy how losing someone has the capacity to bring forth a host of grateful feelings and love for the ones who are still here.
What an amazing thing – and another testimony to the truth that nothing’s wasted. Ever.
I think for a long time I kind of thought things would stay the same. That everyone and everything would be always the same. Death or illness really didn’t cross my mind. I’m sure I would have denied it if you would have asked me, because I knew that’s not how it worked. I just never thought about anything different.
And now I’m just contemplating the fact that there is just a wisp of life for each of us. What will we do with it? Will we squander it on self-pity? Anger? Irritability? Full disclosure: I confess that today in the midst of the chore fiasco I was less than my best mom-self.
So, just a tiny sliver of time. It matters how we live it. It matters that we believe truth. It matters that we understand that there is a God orchestrating the minutiae of our lives. It matters what we do with the breath and words and energy we have been given; these things we often take for granted when we hop out of bed in the morning.
So I ask myself: what will I do with the rest of my life? What will I do with tomorrow’s minutes and moments?
It’s time to send that text, mend that relationship, hug that friend, be patient again with that child, (and myself, too..) and seek the Kingdom of God first above all else.
Because God is good. And He knows. He sees, and I believe He wants us to see just how very beautiful and important the life that He gave us really is.