It’s almost the first day of fall – and my 12 year old turns teenager on Monday. It’s obvious time flies and somehow my heart slows and is unbelieving at the fast pace that surrounds me. Everywhere I look there is change, growth, seasons, and it is just so crazy that I’m actually living this incredibly rich life. I didn’t always see it so, and now that I’m understanding in a new way the fleeting-ness of little kids not little, and a marriage that’s seen almost 14 years, (and I know that’s short compared to my parents’ testimony of 52 years) I want to not waste one.single.moment.
I want to drink it in and live it well. I want to let the relationships thrive and whisper peace to my soul when things go south on an average Friday morning. (Yes, this was us this morning.). For so long I unwittingly took nearly everything for granted. And now I see littles getting big. I see hairs turning gray. I have a 7th grader, a 5th grader, a 1rst grader, and a 4 year old who is beside herself with wanting to do all the schooling things. There are no babies waking me up. It was 9 short years ago when we had been wide-eyed foster parents for all of four weeks. God’s sense of humor in answering my desperate pleas for a family is not lost on me.
So here we are.
I’m all weepy and unbelieving at the goodness of God, and more aware than ever before at the supreme blessing of being a wife, of being a mother, of having the freedom to teach my children.
I wake and put my feet on the floor, and it’s a gift. Legs that work, eyes that see, hands that can dump coffee beans into the grinder and start the coffee maker. It’s a gift to kiss my husband goodbye and tell him to hurry back home to us. It’s a blessing to sort muddy clothes and sweep the crumbs off the floor. Instead of seeing the dirt and early-wakers as inconvenient, oh how it is a gift. Life’s a gift. And the ability to settle into the Scriptures each morning and whisper too-quick prayers of blessing and thanksgiving over our day and these ones I love is more than I ever could have asked or imagined.
I forget this, then I’m reminded again. Mr J was pretty upset today because all was looking hopeless and unfair, and I finally sent him to write down 20 things he was thankful for.
A few moments later he came out with a delightful list of blessings in his hand. Not surprisingly it was accompanied by a happy, but sheepish grin. We talked about these things, talked about what life would look like without cousins, without Daisy and Henny-Penny (chickens), without siblings.
Yes, the reality and importance of listing blessings just keeps replaying over and over.
I had to think.. maybe that’s a good exercise for all of us. Go to the bedroom, don’t come out until there are 20 thanksgivings.
Then think of what life would be like without them.
Maple buttercream candles from Walmart.
A lovely conversation with my aunt.
Talking to my mom regularly.
Joking with my husband.
Clean sheets. (Not on my bed yet. But they are clean and ready lol.)
A free hour at the coffeeshop.
Talking with a sweet young lover of Jesus who inspired me this week.
Discovering square-footage calculations with my eldest- and the light of understanding.
Reading aloud to each of my kiddos today, separately.
Nature finds of a deer antler, birdsnest, weird fungi, and two mushrooms this morning, and drawing and water coloring afterwards.
Boys old enough to make breakfast.
Prayer and the ability to see Jesus as the lover of my soul.
A sourdough starter I’m attempting, that I named Fran (she’s very bubbly.)
The fresh eggs sign my boys made, and their enthusiasm for entrepreneurial endeavors. 🙂